How to Acquire Hot Sauce in a Foreign Land

I passed by the train station, a community swimming pool, and right into a not well-lit alleyway next to a parking lot. The building next to it is a butcher training school (don’t quote me on that, I am not even sure that is a thing). So there I was standing in front of Hotdog Værkstedet.

No, I was not working for the FBI or searching for a payphone booth so I can go underground to the secrete service headquarter. That would be pretty cool, but I think I was searching for something even cooler. I was aiming for a hot dog cart.

John’s Hotdog Deli is a well-known and loved hot dog cart in Copenhagen, Denmark. John has been in the business for 10 years. Here is what Anthony Bourdain Parts Unkown has to say about John.

So when I didn’t see his cart at his usual spot, I made it my mission to track him down on his official Facebook page. Full disclosure, since I don’t know any Danish, and I saw Hotdog Værkstedet, I assumed I could probably get some hot dog. I was kind going into this blindly.

Now I have got you all caught up, lets get back to my situation.

Next to Hotdog Værkstedet’s banner was John’s Hotdog Deli’s banner. Obviously I was at the right place. Lights were on, music blasting inside, and through the tiny window crack I saw a shadow of someone working in the shop. I think it is a bit too late to explain I am usually not this creepy.
2 large and locked dark green doors stand between me and the hot dogs. There was a camera on the upper right corner of the store, and I was obliviously standing underneath it.

There were some people standing outside of the butcher shop, they didn’t seem to notice me. I paced back and forth in front of the store trying to figure out my next move. I was really not presenting myself like an innocent and confused tourist.
So once again I did what I do when I am in an awkward situation – pretend to have a fake phone call. I defined my character as someone who is very lost and is waiting for her late friend. Here was my exact conversation with myself:

“Hey, where are you? (I had the audacity to say that, clearly I had no shame)
“huhhh….” (Pretending to listen)
“I am waiting outside of John’s Hotdog Deli. No, the door is locked but I can tell someone is inside working. There is a camera and I am standing in front of it looking like a creep (I also sounded like one).
“There are people around so hopefully they don’t think I look weird or anything. I am not sure what I should do, I mean I am already here, should I just knock on the door…WHEN ARE YOU COMING!!”

I kept that conversation going for 5 minutes. FYI, if you are ever in my situation or need to pull a fake phone call, the great Internet has offered some great professional steps you can take.

Eventually I had a conclusion – since I am already in front of the store, and tonight is my last night here, what do I have to lose if I do knock on that door? Pretty legit for my standard.

So I did. After I knocked on the door, the light went off in the room and the music stopped.
Panicked! I thought ‘Oh shit, they are getting their guns.’ They probably think I am here trying to steal their hot dog recipes and just going to end me right there.
I am too young to die!! I just want to have a hot dog!

After about a long 30 seconds, the light went back on. Immediately, I knocked on the door again.
This time, John himself opened the door. I was in shock and stared at him for a good 5 seconds before I said “Hi.”
Before you judge my interpersonal communication skill, let me paint you a picture:

this is John and he is a badass
15193461_606428322899684_7629966486913042417_nI scrambled some words together to explain why I am in his personal propriety and not minding my own business,

“Are you John’s Hotdog Deli? (DAHHHH) Are you selling hot dogs today?” (Is this how you trying to impress someone!!)
“No, this is where I make all the sauces. Here, let me get you a bottle of the hot sauce.”

Folks, that is how you acquire hot sauce in a foreign land. All you need are determinations, stubbornness, the unshaken urge for great hot dogs, and of course track down the right people and knock on their doors many times.
*Xinderella will not be responsible for any personal damages resulted from such hot sauce acquire behaviors. Please acquire hot sauce responsibly

dsc04492Yours truly has decided to give this hot sauce a taste test. I opened the jar, had a tiny lick of the cap. As you can see from the picture, the cap is fairly small. It started with a tingling sensation from the tip of the mouth to the back of my head. After carefully examining the sauce, it has a beef jerky after taste to it with a combination of full blast hotness in my mouth. Needless to say, my first reaction was to find the nearest ice cream supply, and proceed to scream “WHY ARE ICE CREAMS SO HARD TO SCOOP!” After gallons of water and an annoying hiccup, I have decided to retire this hot sauce into my collectable cabinet.

Clearly, I am no a hot sauce expert, but I guarantee you this is hot stuff will knock your socks off, and so will John’s Hotdog. His hot dog cart goes out on the second and fourth week of every month. I happened to missed out. So next time you are going to Copenhagen, pay a visit to John.